For any of you that don’t already know this Great Danes are big Wusses, we are scared of everything. Really, I tell you no lie, if something is a bit out of the ordinary for us then we will be sure to be scared of it. Take for instance, the time that my human was escorting my on my usual walk in the old town where we lived. Now I was always happy to wander quite a way in front because I knew my route, I knew exactly which bushes should be where, which gates on the allotments would be open and which owners would be happy for me to wander in and see what was happening. All was usually well with the world on those morning walks. Then suddenly one morning I was ambling along the path that led up to the bridge over the big road when a big shiny monster stood before me. It was whistling at me and there was lots of white things flying out of its great gaping mouth. I was very scared so I ran back to my human and hid behind her, pushing her along with my nose trying to make it past the monster. If I managed to put her between it and me then maybe I could sneak past. But I didnt figure on the human stopping and touching the monster. What was she doing, NO I growled leave it be, it will surely jump at you if you touch it. She ignored me, she carried on touching it and it started to move. I was having none of it and made a dart for home. There was no way I was brave enough to protect my human who had no respect for her own life. I would get home and hide, that was the plan. Then the man from the allotment jumped in front of me, grabbed my collar and wouldn’t let me go. I could hear the monster approaching, what could I do? I know I thought, I will slip my collar and run into the allotment and hide with the goats. And there I was with Fred (turns out he had lockjaw YIKES) in the shed when Mr Allotment and my human came in and my human gave me a big cuddle. Not sure what she meant when she kept saying that it was only a shopping trolley but when I peeked out of the door it was gone so I was ok. I could carry on with my saunter in all happiness.
So this morning I was minding my own business tootling along, sniffing the ground and the air. Listening to all the schoolkids shouting and running when a yellow human jumped in front of me waving a bloomin big stick in the air. No way was I going to put up with that. Again I hid behind my human, pushed her forward and demanded that she go first. The schoolkids thought this was very funny and gathered around laughing. Now, as scared as I was I wasnt going to put up with being laughed at so I started to bark, as loud as I could. The yellow human stood her ground and refused to move, my human started to walk forward, I had no option, I was on my lead after all, I had to go for it. So I took off as fast as I could across the road. Looking back the Yellow Human was following me, the stick was heading towards me as she lowered it. My human kept telling me that it was a lollipop but I have never seen a lollipop that big before so I think she was having a laugh.
I made it home safe and insisted that I receive my dentastick quick smart. Then I retreated to my bed with my teddy bear. All is well that ends well.