For Today

Joining in again with  FOR  TODAY over at the Simple Woman’s Daybook.

Source: thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.co.uk via cheri on Pinterest

 

Outside my window the grass is long and filled with beautiful wild flowers, others may call them weeds but what is a weed other than a flower growing somewhere that you didn’t put it? The sitting room overlooks the garden and the fields beyond. I am sitting by the patio doors watching the birds at the feeder. As the sun rises behind the shed the world is bathed in an orange glow and mists rise from the fields. The traffic is quiet the birds are waking and singing, preparing for the day. This is the way every day should start. Quiet contemplation

I am thinking of all the things that need to be done over the next two days checking my lists and making new ones. I am wishing that I had been more organised and managed to find the time in the evenings to get on top of everything leaving me the chance to enjoy my last weekend here more. That said, I know that with my lists everything will get done. I love lists

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I am thankful that I have had the opportunity to live in such a beautiful area. Suffolk has long been on my wish list of places to visit and being on the border has allowed me to enjoy all that it has to offer. It has confirmed my belief in quaint country villages. They do exist.

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In the kitchen boxes are standing waiting to be filled with crockery, the dishwasher is whirring and the washing machine is humming. I have Aduki beans soaking ready for a Red Dragon Pie making session later. My partner told me there was nothing in to make tea last night, it was his turn to cook, I begged to differ so tonight I will show him that we have plenty of things in it just takes a bit of imagination.

I am wearing my favourite stripey socks. They are warm and fluffy and cosy. Better still they are colourful beyond belief. Max has even been known to borrow them.

I am creating a new life. I am using the philosophy of Mark Twain that an optimist travels on nothing from nowhere to happiness. Me? I will be travelling in Hermann, from somewhere to, well, nowhere in particular at the moment. From Sunday I will be “homeless”. Strange that as I actually own two properties although neither is available for me right now, nor are they in the actual place where my work is. Funny how life turns out. The next couple of months should be fun. I will be a wanderer.

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I am going a little bit crazy trying to make sense of life right now. And then, I tell myself that life is a journey. On the days when I feel like I cannot take another step I stop and remember how strong I have been in the past and I know that I can carry on. It just takes a little breathing and a tad of courage. At least I am alive and healthy. Sometimes I just have to accept that plodding is ok.

I am wondering how to balance the books. I am no magician but I am sure that I can conjure up a way of dealing with everything that is being thrown at me right now. How is it that all the bills come at once?

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I am reading the latest Marian Keyes book. Well, that is stretching it a little. I have the new Marian Keyes book sitting beside me as I type. I have read the dust cover but I am afraid to pick it up to start reading right now because I have so much to do. Marian Keyes books always make me smile. They are my little bit of escapism, along with Cecelia Aherne. I do wish that I could write as well as them.

I am hoping that the journey to Wales on Monday will be smooth. Google maps tells me that it is a five and half hour journey. In reality when travelling in a convoy of campervan and car loaded with all my wordly goods and Max in a state of anxiety it is more likely to take 10 hours.

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I am looking forward to stopping off in the Cotswolds on my journey back to Wales. Like Suffolk, the Cotswolds are quaintly English and I feel at peace there. I love the little streets and the antique shops filled with treasures. The golden glow of the houses made from cotswold stone and the hegerows filling the air with scents of wild flowers and wild garlic. Bliss.

I am learning to believe in myself. To value myself and to take care of my mental wellbeing. I am learning that life is short and my days are dwindling on this earth so I really need to make the most of them.

Around the house I wander from room to room. Packing, sorting, sitting and pondering. Boxes sit in each room. I cannot believe that I arrived with one suitcase and two armchairs in the true belief that I would be here for just a few weeks and now, six months on I am packing up boxes and suitcases and I have acquired a sofa. I do hope they all fit in the van to head off back to Wales to be stored safely until I need them again.

I am pondering the possibility of a stop over in the Cotswolds. The amount of stuff packed into Hermann means that we cant sleep in him so it is going to need some financial juggling to afford a stop off in the Travelodge where Moo will be allowed.

A favorite quote for today… If you’re not having fun, then you’re doing something wrong.” Groucho Marx

One of my favorite things sitting in this conservatory basking in the sunshine and listening to the birds whilst sipping earl grey and writing a blog post.

A few plans for the rest of the week: packing, driving, unpacking, packing a different case, driving, visiting family, packing, getting a train back to London. And in between all that, living in the moment. Hectic as it all sounds I am determined to appreciate all the little things that I will encounter on the journey.

A peek into my day…

Moving on

It’s May 24th and my life is about to become very different. As I huddle against the heater on the train trying to warm my damp feet I watch the Essex countryside hurtling past for the last time. The rain is relentless, the wind rather forgetting that March is long gone but the fields of golden corn sparkle amidst the grey skies. 

Six months down the line and my temporary home lasted longer than expected. I have been privileged to live immersed in the scenery that I have admired hung on the walls of art galleries and captured in paintings by the great artist Constable. People pay milliions to enjoy the very same places I have walked, ran and sat and picnicked in. Money could never buy me my memories. I appreciate every moment I have spent here. 

 

Now it is time for a new adventure. Time to move on.  

 

Passing the Olympic stadium and the building site that it has become seems apt today. Grat things happened here and then a lull, a break to recover. In a few weeks time it is expected to burst back into life. Reinvigorated, fresh as a daisy and ready for the next instalment. 

 

And so will I be. 

For Today

Yet again, I am joining in with the Simple Woman and writing a journal about my day. If you want to join in then head on over to her website here

Source: thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.co.uk via cheri on Pinterest

Outside my window,  I potter in the garden looking in through the window at the table laden with vegetables waiting for me to decide what delights to conjure up for our evening meal. The relentless zooming of traffic creating a minor irritation as I try, and fail, to do a little reading and so I give in. I lean back on the bench to observe the birds flitting from hedge to tree to feeding station. The grey tit  bathing in the drinking water oblivous of the robins hiding in the bushes around the pond and the blackbird stomping beneath the window where, earlier, I discarded the crumbs from the breadboard. Nothing seems to disturb them as they go about their business of enjoying the day. Wait, the traffic just stopped, oh the sweet refrain.  I can hear the hum of a lawn mower as the neighbour fires up the petrol engine. The birdsong intensifies and the wood pigeon coos endlessly.And now the traffic roars again breaking the moment of calmness.  I pick up the laptop and start to type. No need for thinking what I will write I will go with the flow.

I am thinking about the weeks to come and the things that I need to organise to put my life in order for the next stage of this adventure. No small things are required only huge great effort can see me through the maze that is life. I am thinking that, perhaps, I have been taking things too seriously, where did my resolve go to enjoy life and live each day. Almost 12 months ago now since I made that decision to step off the merry go round only to step right back on 6 months later. And now, 6 months down the line I feel the need to step right back off and onto the more gentle ride akin to punting on the river.

I am thankful to have been given such a wonderful opportunity in the work that I have been doing. To work for a charity that inspires young people and really helps them to change their lives can only be a good thing. I am even more thankful to be able to recognise when the time is right to move on. Moving on, however, might not be as simple as just walking away. Each time I make the decision to do that another inspirational event happens and I change my mind.  Time will tell me when the time is right.
In the kitchen lie abandoned cookbooks brought with me from my previous home prop up the remote control for the tv. I have no inclination to leaf through them as I have done at times of stress and manic acitivity. No motivation to bake, cook, brew, experiment. This is so unlike me, I am not sure that I am comfortable with this me. I love to cook and create. I accept that this is a phase in my life that I have to embrace, I need to consider other things and that is ok too.

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I am wearing wellington boots, even though the sun is shining,intermittently, through the grey clouds. I like stomping through the long grass around the garden but I am not brave enough to chance treading on a frog in my converse.

I am creating too many problems in my head. Time to clear them away. Make room for creative thoughts and happy plans. A little planning and considering are the tools I turn to when I feel out of control of my life.

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I am going to head indoors soon and brew a lovely cup of tea, sit in the conservatory and watch the garden from indoors for a while. This will be my last full weekend here and I want to savour every moment, good, indifferent and down right irritating. Yes that includes the traffic.

I am wondering what life may be like in 12 months time as I aim not to look back to this time last year when my life changed drastically.

I am reading too many books at once. Today is a chic lit book by Jenny Colgan alongside, Dawn French’s autobiography and Paul McGee’s “How to Succeed with People”

I am hoping that the weather is kind to us on our long journey next weekend. I don’t mind the rain but when I was heading to this new life I drove through floods and storms for over 8 hours, eventually taking two days to arrive instead of one. It was a tough journey. With hindsight I see it  as a metaphor for the  year that was  ahead. Six months in and I feel that I still have a lot battling to do but at least if the sun shines I can recharge my batteries and take up the reigns again after a lull in proceedings.

I am looking forward two whole weeks of being “home” in a place that I found difficult to live in I agree but I always loved the countryside, the scenery, the beaches, the mountains. The birds, the sheep, the cows, the squirrels. My time away and a short trip back has taught me that I can appreciate what I have there and it will help me to work out where I go next.

I am learning that I love gardens, I love the peace they bring (despite the noise of traffic and petrol lawnmowers) but I no longer have the capacity or the energy to manage a garden of this size. I am learning that what I love is the relaxation, a beautiful place to sit and just be at one with myself. Lessons that will serve me well in choosing my next resting place.I am learning that home isn’t about a place, it is about the things that you have around you. I am not materialistic but I do believe that a few sentimental objects, your own bed and sofa and books, never forget the books, are the things that I find make me feel homely and settled. Of course it goes without saying that friends and family are also “home”  unfortunately they cant always be there.

Around the house the washing machine is whirring, there are boxes half filled with, yes you guessed it, books and other cooking utensils. Washing is folded and waiting to be taken back to the airing cupboard. Max is looking out of the window but refuses to come into the garden as he isnt allowed to eat the sweet grass.

I am pondering life. Yes, I am thinking deeply about what life means to me. As an individual, not taking into account others beliefs about what I should be doing or thinking or feeling but what life means to me. That simple. If I am not happy then how can I expect the people around me to be happy with me.

A favorite quote for today…“Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!”
― Audrey Hepburn

One of my favorite things in the whole world is liquorice. I have always loved liquourice, its sweet sticky taste, the texture on my tongue as I chew, the intense pleasure that it gives me. In fact, I think I am going to make that tea a nice cup of liquourice tea. And I recently discovered more about it’s health value so more liquorice and less chocolate everybody.

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A few plans for the rest of the week: Workwise I have a major project to wrap up. I have to write my finding and make recommendations to the board. I need to prepare a presentation and deliver it to a group of staff. I need to tie up loose ends before I head off into the sunset towards Wales.

At home, I will be packing up and hopefully making the most of a few sunsets on late evening walks.

Take a walk with me.

I wrote this piece a few weeks ago and saved it to my own personal journal. Today I thought that I would share. I have added in some photos of my own as well as some from the internet.

Alresford is not your typical chocolate box English country village, indeed the part that I live in feels less villagey as I am on the main road. However what Alresford does have is a sense of community and the people here are so lovely. Surrounded by beautiful countryside and close to the River Colne I have found the diversity here quite inspiring. I have already spoken about the skies and the colours now I will show a little of what I see each weekend as I head out on my local adventures.

Why not share a walk with me today as I reflect on one of my previous walks.

The weather is just glorious here such a fantastic day for a long, long walk.I was up early. Max is back into his routine and was rather put out that I wasnt already up at 5 so decided to sing until I got up. I say sing because I was woken by a rather loud howling which was quite funny as he sounded so grumpy. How on earth could I ignore a calling like that? The greeting provided as I arrived at the bottom of the stairs was hilarious, anybody would have thought I had been gone for weeks. Giving him a big cuddle, a long cold drink and  letting him out to the garden for a little trot around and sniff of the hedges seemed to settle him down so I made a cup of tea and went back to bed taking the opportunity to read for a while  before going back to sleep until 8.  There are two windows in the bedroom and the back one overlooks the fields  I opened the curtains when I went back to bed and  I was woken by the sun streaming through the bedroom and the sight of birds in the garden. It really helps to see the sun.Max and I had a long leisurely breakfast and then tootled out for our walk. Not sure how far we walked but we were out for 2 1/2 hours. First we headed towards  Alresford Creek. Try as I may I could not find out much information about this place. although I do believe that this is part of an overhead conveyor which used to bring sand to the jetty from the quarry in Alresford.  turning back and taking the path to the side of the ruins of St Peters Church built in 1300 but sadly ravished by fire in 1971. With an intention to head towards Wivenhoe and the river we stopped to investigate the grounds for a while. photo courtesy of google my own view on down to the river and along the path to Wivenhoe courtesy of google after a bit of wander through the little lanes of Wivenhoe giving me time to indulge in oggling the little cottages on the unadopted road, fantasising of living in one of them we turned back towards Cockaynes Wood. This is the place Max loves. The smell of rabbits and squirrels, sticks to run away with and grass on the edges in which to roll to his hearts content. photo courtesy of panoramio.com After a final wander along Cockaynes Lane where Max refused to leave his stick Before finally arriving home for a well earned rest and to record my cheerful wanderings a welcome sight This all reminds me of one of my favourite quotes from one of my heroines.

Quote   Pick the day. Enjoy it – to the hilt. The day as it comes. People as they come… The past, I think, has helped me appreciate the present – and I don’t want to spoil any of it by fretting about the future. — Audrey Hepburn

For Today

I’m joining in with the Simple Woman’s daybook again. Head on over to check out some more links.

Outside my window… the sky is a rosy hue as the sun sinks in the west,  hares are running through the fields  and the pheasant is stomping around the garden. The bird feeder acts like the local McDonalds drive through for the constant visitors of great tits, blue tits, robins and chaffinches as the blackbird scutters around the ground picking up their offerings.

I am thinking…about how to juggle the demands of the next few weeks and whether to take a few days trip in Hermann the VW.

I am thankful…for friends who have helped me to see the wood for the trees as I have struggled with a few things over the last few weeks.

In the kitchen… lights start to twinkle in the glass cupboard, the smell of bread is wafting through to the hallway and a bottle of wine waits to  tantalise my tastebuds. It is Friday evening after all

I am wearing… burgundy silk pyjamas and matching wrap, ballet pumps and a towel turban on my head. Having just had a long bubble bath I  am now relaxing and looking forward to a chilled out evening

I am creating... an inspiration board for a project that I have in mind.

I am going…to be spending the weekend alone. Working  in the city can be draining and so I love to have time to myself. This will be my first weekend at home for the last few weeks and certainly my first weekend alone since Christmas. Time to recharge my batteries and build my strength for the coming weeks.

I am wondering…where I will be in the coming months. What will my life be like, how will I get to where I need  to be.

I am reading… A Christmas Magic by Trish Ashley. A proper chic lit book and a new author to me. I picked up the book from the community bookcase in the station that I commute from. I am also reading How to Hepburn Lessons on Living the Hepburn Way by Karen Karbo. I have always been fascinated by the stars of yesteryear and this book is going to be a real insight into a star I am in awe of.

I am hoping…to go to the cinema to see Iron Man 3. I adore Robert Downey Jnr. He reminds me of those stars of the Golden Age. Full of charisma, charm and good looks.

I am looking forward to… spending more time at my home in Wales. Not long to wait now. I realise now what  I had and how much I took things for granted when I was there.

I am learning.… german …….. still!  This will be a lifetimes lesson I think. As much as I study I need to be living there to improve my vocabulary and build my confidence.

Around the house…things are starting to be packed up. My life here is being erased day by day and it feels kind of sad.

A favorite quote for today… Check it, Challenge it, Change it.

One of my favorite things... making lists and planning. I used to think this was a bit mad but now I have come to accept this is what makes me happy and centred.

A few plans for the rest of the week:A visit to the cinema, a long walk in the countryside, more reading, completing a report in work and writing some long letters.

A peek into my day..

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Home my own Cwtch Corner

After a long and tiresome journey of cancellations, detours and unscheduled taxi rides I finally arrived at my destination late on Friday night.

Arriving at the station and being greeted  by my lovely other half and the bounding  of a giant hound I said goodbye to my new friends and hopped into Hermann. Trundling out of Aberystwyth, into the pitch blackness of the night  and up the long hill heading towards the valley we call home, I couldn’t resist winding down the window.  I breathed in the heady scent of salt sea air, wild garlic growing on the hillside and thick woodsmoke of the small cottages and I felt happier than I can remember. We pull onto the drive and I jump down from the cab onto the drive where I stand and listen to the deafening silence. Suddenly I hear him, the owl that I had spent four years listening for and when the hoot pierces the silent it startles me. How soon I have become used to the hustle, bustle and noise of the city. I wait in the hope that I can feel the bats swooping but tonight  they are in hiding. Lifting my head I blink at the sky and the myriad of diamond like stars up there. A clear night sky graced me with it’s presence on my homecoming.

Turning the key in the lock I push on the door and hear the familiar creak of the hinge beckoning  me home. I step into the kitchen and quickly become aware of the scents that signify me. Bergamot, eucalyptus and lavender remind me of cleaning rituals that bring  a sense of pride and routine. On to the lounge and the lingering scent of geranium gives a sense of freshness and the promise of summer to come and finally into the bedroom where Frankincense and lavender mingle to create a calm ambience. I ponder how these scents reflect my sense of being. It has been almost six months since I was here but it feels like yesterday.
A quick change into my favourite PJs and then heading back to the lounge, stopping to look at pictures on the walls before I find myself lifting the lid of the piano and running my hand along the keys. I dont play the piano but I love to play with the piano. The photo of Benson, my long departed Cocker spaniel, winks at me from the shelf.

Strange how we never appreciate what  we have until it is gone. I never considered myself a material person, believing that I could live with next to no possessions. Oh how wrong I was.

On to the bookshelf devouring the titles in one quick glance. My collection of elephants bringing the same smile to my face that it brought every day since that first impulse buy and then the regular investments. I quickly spot that the junk shop silver teapot is filled with freesia and turn to my other half to say thank you. He stands there smiling. I ask what he smiles at and he replies. “You and the joy you are finding in everything” I laugh and collapse into the sofa that I worked overtime to afford. Sinking into the cushions and tucking my feet beneath me I finally appreciate my need for being comfy. Surrounded by the things that I have collected over a lifetime, the people that I love and my animals how could I ever want more than this.

It is so good to be home. This is where my mind wanders when I daydream. Home is not a place, it is a feeling, a comfort it is, indeed  my very own cwtch corner.

Wednesday Wisdom

Live, Laugh, Love